How (and Why) to Write a Thesis Statement

For those of you working on an English 1080 essay this weekend, I thought it might be useful to re-post this blog entry about thesis statements. I hope it helps. As a bonus, I've added a note here and there about how these ideas apply to comparative analysis essays.

The thesis statement is probably the most important part of any essay and appropriately so, but it’s also the part that most students find difficult.

I’ll try the Q & A format because it seems to clarify things a bit.

Q. Why is the thesis statement so important?

A. Because it’s your opening statement. You’re making your first impression. You’re laying the foundation for the rest of your essay. Everything that your essay entails should be clearly indicated in your thesis statement.

Q. Does a thesis statement have to be the first sentence?

A. It’s not an official rule or anything, and there are certainly other ways to go about it. But placing the thesis statement first in your essay gives a sense of immediacy and purpose to your essay. I have seen plenty of essays that were undermined by not placing the thesis statement first, but I have never see one that suffered by starting out with your strongest, clearest statement of intent. It just gives a sense of strength and cohesiveness to your argument. It’s all about effective writing anyway—not just “writing to get by” or “writing to be barely understood by.” It’s about being the best communicator your can be. And being a clear writer also makes you a clear thinker (though the opposite is not necessarily true.) So put your thesis statement first not because you have to, because you want to. It’s sort of why Entertainment Tonight always starts their show with those pictures of Snooki and The Situation or some female celebrity in a bikini or Britney baring her belly button (again): not because they have to but because it’s more effective. In a way, a photo of Snooki is their thesis statement.

Q. I’ve always had the most trouble writing thesis statements; is it even possible to learn this so that it becomes easier?

A. Anything becomes easier with practice and thesis statements are no different. You have to train yourself and, after a while, it will become easier. It will always take some amount of work, but it is worth it in order to become a clear communicator.

Q. What goes into a good thesis statement?

A. Your thesis statement ought to be as comprehensive as possible. This takes work, and you’ll probably have to write it first, then revise it as you go. The best thesis statements are usually ones that have been revised even after the essay’s been written. The idea is that it has to encompass everything that your essay is about and sometimes you can’t really know everything that’s in your mind until you’ve written it. So it makes sense that you would go back to the beginning when you’ve written the end and check to ensure that you’ve written about everything exactly as you said you would. Thesis statements are made to be revised.

Q. Can you give me an example of a good thesis statement?

A. If you’re subject is “music” in the short story “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” by Joyce Carol Oates, then start by telling me what your focus is going to be.

e.g. In the short story “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” Joyce Carol Oates uses rock and roll to represent the protagonist’s, and American society’s, coming of age.

That would be short, simple, and directly to the point. My intention in such an essay would be to discuss in detail, with examples, how Oates uses music as a medium for Connie’s transition into the adult world. My next sentences ought to explain precisely how Oates does that. I would need to mention specifically who the protagonist is (Connie) and how music is a part of who she is, as well as how it defines her situation, as well as America in the Sixties, and suggest what I mean by “coming of age.”

Something like this would do: “Throughout the story, Connie listens to music as a way of tuning out the real world and tuning in to a world of her own imagination, as denoted by the dangerous Arnold Friend, who symbolizes the dire changes that are sweeping the country during that decade. American youth, as represented by Connie, is reaching for freedom that sometimes comes with a terrible price, and nothing represents that yearning for something more better than rock and roll.”

Or you could have phrased your thesis statement like this:

e.g. Music is a portal to both freedom of the mind and its inherent dangers, as Joyce Carol Oates suggests in her short story “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?”.

Notice that I manage to include the author and title of the story, just to make sure the reader knows at a glance which work and author I’m dealing with. She can decide to keep reading or search elsewhere for a more appropriate article based on what she reads in that one sentence.

Also, notice that the subject in your thesis statement is not music generally. You’re not writing an essay about music, American society, teenage girls, or serial killers. You’re discussing music as it is portrayed in this one short story, and so any statement that’s not about that story is a wasted statement.

Let’s try it again. Let’s say your subject is isolation in “Paul’s Case”. Well, what are you trying to say about isolation in that short story? I see a lot of essays that start with something like, “‘Paul’s Case’ presents a young boy, Paul, who is isolated.” To say that Cather’s story depicts isolation is not enough: your point is, What does Cather imply ABOUT isolation? The most important opinion here, really, is Cather’s. It’s crucial that you figure out what she is trying to say before you can pretend to have an opinion on her opinion. Make sense?

Instead, try a thesis statement something like this:

As Willa Cather appears to suggest in her short story, "Paul's Case," isolation from one's friends, family, school, and church can have serious consequences on a person's attitudes and decisions.

With a thesis statement like that, you leave yourself wide open to go and discuss just about anything you want. You'll focus on showing Paul as isolated, using evidence from the story to suggest distance and detachment, physically and emotionally, from friends, then family, then school, then church, and ultimately even from the world around him, as well as himself. You'll go further and show how it muddies his thinking and allows him to justify robbing his employer, spending the money on luxuries, and, ultimately, deciding to kill himself. You might even feel the need to suggest it was something other than isolation that spurred him on. But that's you're decision. You decide what to prove because you're the writer.

For a comparative analysis essay (say, one on the depiction of isolation in "Paul's Case" and "Serotonin") try something like this:

Isolation, as both Willa Cather and Russell Smith depict that concept in their respective short stories, "Paul's Case" and "Serotonin," often becomes a way of dealing with one's difference and leads to a tragic end.

Notice that you've made it clear what your subject is, which stories you're dealing with, and what both authors imply about the subject (according to your interpretation). So now all you have to do is spend your entire essay proving your theory to be true. In this case, I would spend the rest of my introduction stating, briefly, what "isolation" means in these two stories and stating in what way each character is "different" from , or even indifferent to, their surroundings and peers, and then mentioning what the tragic end is that arises from such isolation. So I've outlined where the isolation comes from and where it's going. You could do the same for nearly any subject.

Then go on to explain each of these concepts paragraph by paragraph.

Q. Why isn't my opinion about the story important?

A. Certainly, you are being asked for your opinion on the story. This whole essay that you’re writing has you written all over it. Every word is yours—well-chosen, clear, purposeful, and coming from your head, through your fingers and onto the keyboard, screen, and paper. But first you have to get yourself out of the way. Look into the piece of literature and figure out the author’s agenda, whether it is subconscious or not. What is he or she implying by their well-chosen words? How are your opinions being shaped and manipulated by his or her choice of words?

In “Young Goodman Brown,” for example, Hawthorne’s opinions about religion or faith will not be the same as yours. Young Goodman Brown, for instance, dies a sad, gloomy death even though he still believes in God. You, on the other hand, might be faithfully religious and not agree with Hawthorne that faith can be such a terrible thing. But don’t get into morally judging the characters. Your goal is to understand the characters and explain why they act and speak as they do: for what purpose? What is Hawthorne trying to say by having them speak and act that way? That’s where your thesis statement will come from: in understanding the connection of the character you’re studying to all the other characters in that story. Or, if you’re comparing two short stories to each other, you also have to consider how one author’s agenda differs from the other author’s agenda. More on comparative analysis another time, hopefully by the end of the weekend.

It might seem like a lot to consider before you can write a solid thesis statement. But the fact is that critical thinking and writing requires you to show great understanding of the subject you’re studying. This is no different from science or history in that the idea is to thoroughly engage with your subject before you can possibly contribute anything to the study of it. It is only by pushing yourself in this way that you will become a better, clearer thinker and writer. Writing a good thesis statement is hard, but if you’re serious about being a good writer, it’s well worth it.

I do wonder, though, why anyone NOT want to be a better writer? The only answer I can think of is that it’s not something you’re used to doing and therefore you’re not so good at it. To me, that’s all the more reason for wanting to be good at it—so that you don’t get held back in life at any point. I don’t just mean academically, but in various other ways too. A clear thinker and writer ALWAYS gets more respect and has more self-respect, too. There’s no way around that.

A poor communicator can cause a lot of damage in a society. On a large scale, wars take place and people get killed, or global warming becomes a political football because the scientists weren’t getting their message across to the politicians. Either the scientists weren’t communicating properly, or the politicians just couldn’t understand what they were saying. I suspect that the truth is somewhere in the middle. The results, however, can be devestating. Thank goodness the scientists finally came out a few short years ago year with an official, unified statement—a thesis statement, you might call it, with which people can either agree or disagree. That's the point of a thesis statement really: say clearly what you mean to say so we can say clearly whether we agree with you or not.

On a smaller scale, though, poor communication can lead to people showing up at a store for a sale that doesn’t take place till next week or for a service that isn’t even offered. Or deadlines get missed, meetings are ineffective, and grants don’t get won. Whether an arts grant or a health care grant, or a wharf-building application, there are consequences for representing yourself poorly. Even (or maybe especially) personal relationships can suffer endlessly and sometimes permanently from an inability of at least one person to say what they really mean, instead of thinking that what they are saying is clear and unambiguous. A good communicator will have fewer bad marriages and fewer lost friendships. That’s real life.

I could go on and on, and often have.

So: start with a clear, complete statement of what you are about to say in your essay. That way, no one can doubt your intentions.

GC