Quick Fixes for Sentence Structure problems (or Welcome to the Jungle)

One of the hardest parts of this job is giving out relatively low grades to people who had greater expectations. I hate being a dream-killer and the bad guy, but it's a role I'm willing to play if I think it will help someone.

I passed back essays today to my Tenners (ten o'clock class) and they weren't too pleased with me on the whole, at least from what I can tell. While I do feel bad about that (more than you can imagine), I figure the best thing I can do is offer some advice. The next couple of bloggings from me will involve how to fix some of the major problems that almost everyone had on these essays. I don't make these things up. Sentence fragment, tense shift, and comma splice are real words and have real consequences for your writing. You should have learned about them in English 1080, but either no one showed you or the lesson just didn't take. Or maybe in the couple of months since you last wrote an essay, you forgot how to do it. That's all understandable, but what can we do about it?

First, you might notice that I used some abbreviations on your essays:

1. "T.S." means "tense shift.
2. "C.S." means comma splice.
3. "S.F." means "sentence fragment" (probably not what you were thinking SF could stand for).

1. Tense shift just means that you're switching from speaking in the present voice to speaking in the past voice. You're using "was" when you should be using "is". You're ending words in an "-ed" suffix instead of ending them in "-es" or just "s". Just be consistent. Somtimes, it's fine to use past tense, but most of the time you should consistently use the present tense when talking about fiction, as if the action were happening right now as you read it.

So if you said something like "Utterson found Jekyll in his laboratory," it should read: "Utterson finds Jekyll in his laboratory." If anyone has a specific comment or question about this, just post it here or come see me in person. Or e-mail me.

2. Comma splice means that you're joining (i.e. "splicing") together two sentences using a humble comma. The comma wasn't intended for such heavy labor. It's like using a screwdriver as a chisel. You can do it, but eventually there will be breakage.

Here's how to recognize a comma splice: read what you've written on both sides of the comma; if both sides read like a complete sentence, then you've used a comma splice, which is a major grammatical error, not to mention confusing. See, a comma tells you to pause. But sentences, for the sake of clarity, require you to stop. (See what I mean there in that last sentence?)

So how do you fix a comma splice, supposing you should see one?

1. Use a period and make two separate sentences.
2. Or use a semi-colon, which is designed to join/separate two complete sentences that are related to each other in thought/theme.
3. Or use a conjunction (e.g. but, however, and, because, and so on) and use a comma with it. That's probably the easiest and most common fix.

You'll have to get used to recognizing comma splices in your sentences. That's the only way to eradicate the problem from your writing: practice. After a while, it will become natural. I've seen it happen for thousands of students and it can happen for you. Depends on how bad you want it.

Here's an example of a comma splice:

Comma Splice: Utterson rushes to the lab with Poole, they debate over what to do.

Fix: Utterson rushes to the lab with Poole; they debate over what to do.

Fix: Utterson rushes to the lab with Poole. They debate over what to do.

Fix: Utterson rushes to the lab with Poole, and they debate over what to do.

Fix: When Utterson and Poole reach the lab, they debate over what to do.



3. Sentence Fragment just means that what you've said (and obviously think is a full sentence because it starts with a capital letter and ends in a period after a string of seemingly meaninful words) is not a complete sentence. That is, it's a fragment of a sentence, a mere piece of one: a pretend sentence in disguise, and it's up to you to start recognizing its covert behaviour. It shouldn't be hanging out with the other sentences because, well, it just isn't one and it should just solve the problem by BECOMING one. Their main offense is that they just don't make sense on their own, sort of like Nick Lachey.

That's how you fix a sentence fragment: either make it a full sentence by itself OR join it to the preceding clause. That's right: if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Here's an example of a sentence fragment.

Sentence fragment: Enfield and Utterson on one of their regular walks, talking to each other as they go, and they come to a door, which they discuss.

Looks, smells, sounds, and feels like a sentence, doesn't it? And yet, on closer look, it isn't quite complete. It needs something else, doesn't it? The sentence lacks context.

So the fix is in:

Enfield and Utterson are on one of their regular walks, talking to each other as they go, and they come to a door, which they discuss.

See the difference a simple verb can make? I just added the word "are" and now it all makes sense because we can (sort of) see them doing what we've implied they are doing.

The other way to fix this would be to simply connect this fragment to a preceding sentence. For example, let's say you (okay, somebody else. Denial has its uses.) wrote this:

Utterson recognizes the cane as one he has given Jekyll. The very one used in the murder of Danvers Carew.

You no doubt recognize that the second "sentence" is an imposter: a mere sentence fragment. Here's a quick fix: Utterson recognizes the cane as one he has given Jekyll, the very one used in the murder of Danvers Carew.

Notice that all it takes is a simple comma (also notice that what follows the comma is NOT a complete sentence, so we haven't created a dastardly comma splice, and so everyone sleeps well).

Anyway, I hope this helps. If you're still confused, just come see me or get in touch, okay? There's no need to feel like you're out there on your own with nowhere to turn. Help is available. :-) And my e-mail address is toll free. Act now and you'll get free advice about plot summary. Offer available for a limited time only (till April 30, 2007).

This has been a long and tortuous blog. Must. Have. Rest.

I've gone from Guns 'N Roses to Sarah McLachlan on my mp3 player while I write this. It's time for a break.

Till later,

GC

Respect

The weekend's almost gone and I just finished setting the grades for my ten o'clock 1101 class in stone. They're locked in now, ready for the essays to be passed back tomorrow. I'll refrain from saying anything about them for now so as not to pre-empt anything I might want to say tomorrow morning. All I'll say is that I'm pleased with them overall. They're actually among the best batches of essays I've ever graded...but there's still a lot of work to do. That won't please anyone, but it's part of the gig. It's what we all signed up for.

I'm about halfway through grading the essays for my noon 1101 class and they'll get passed back on Wednesday for sure. I'll just be relieved when these are all done and things can get back to normal for me for a little while. Essays tend to take over my life after I've taken them in.

Of course, while you students will continue to fight the good fight--I realize that it's never-ending and that you feel that some profs don't realize their course isn't the only one you're taking (I used to feel the same way, and I'm not so sure I was wrong)--my office hours have only just begun. It's gonna be pretty busy at my space in the Arts Bldg. (AA 3032) for the next few weeks. My office hours will get stretched from a few hours a week to an almost endless number, and that's okay. It's gruelling, but it also means that you, the student, want to know how to improve on your work. In the end, that's the best any of us can hope for. The more students there are at my office, the happier I am, even though it means I'll be more tired. I'm not a martyr, but then again you have to be one to some extent in order to be a teacher at all. Or a good one anyway.

I'll have more to say on all of this once I pass back the second batch of essays on Wednesdays. After that, it's all fair game and there are no more secrets between me and you when it comes to your writing style--the good, the bad, and the ugly.

For what it's worth (and I know I'll say this tomorrow and on Wednesday), I know it's not easy getting a grade that's less than you think you deserve. Been there and done that myself. Sometimes I took it well and sometimes I didn't. But I always, always did everything I could to a) make it better and b) do better on the next one. Good writers aren't born. They're made. And I've never met a student who couldn't be made into a better writer. Heck, I'm still becoming a better writer myself every day. If you stop trying, you're dying, metaphorically speaking. This is only the beginning. In three months time, you'll be glad for whatever you happened to have gotten from me this time--in terms of either grades, commentary, or one-on-one consultation.

Writing is all about being not only a better communicator, but potentially a better human being. But that's a topic for another day. I just think that the better you are at expressing your thoughts, the more people respect you. And we could all use a little more o' that. Especially the kind that comes from the self.

Till soon,
GC

First Post

Welcome to my blog. As an English lecturer at Memorial University, my primary goal in starting this blog is to keep students informed and maybe even a little entertained at the same time. I just happen to be writing this on a snow day when the campus has been shut down for the morning. I'm thinking it's gonna be the whole day. But the idea for this blog came to me a few nights ago when it occurred to me that there should be some way I can keep my students up to date about when things happen or, especially, when they change suddenly. There were other options (a newsgroup, individual e-mails, a website, and that kind of thing), but this was the best one, I figured. Very easy to do, very quick, and user-friendly. Visitors can even comment on specific posts, so bonus!

I expect to do a bunch of things here. First, if there's a snow day or cancellation of any kind, this is a great place to check if you're wondering, "What happens now?" I'll try to keep this as up-to-date as possible, although sometimes that might not be possible, with power-outages and what-not.

Besides letting you know about exams and quizzes being postponed, I'll be letting you know the specifics about things like when and where exams are to be held. I'll be offering advice about how to prepare for exams, essays, and assorted other projects. Sometimes in class I'll just announce "New Topic on my blog--check it out!" I might even have a few things to say about something said in class that day or something I thought about during or after class related to a certain novel or whatever. This will be primarily a place for saying things that didn't get said in class because there was no time or I just didn't think about it, or it wasn't appropriate.

I'll also be blogging in a very understandable, down-to-earth way about writing and grammar skills, about how to eliminate the dreaded comma splice and sentence fragments from your writing (though you'll notice a much more relaxed style on my blog, but it's an informal writing, so I figure it's what's needed and expected for the forum). I'll be talking about writer's blocks, writer's headaches, and anything to do with writing in general.

As well, I'm a writer of fiction too, and I know a lot of people reading this blog also want to be writers, so I think this is a great venue for me talking about writing and getting feedback, even taking specific questions from you. Once in a while, I'll be posting some inspirational quotes regarding writing, literature, culture, and whatever is of interest. If there's still interest in this site when the semester is over, I might keep it up for a while or for good. That' ll depend on a few things.

Other than that, I might have an occasional rant or just a musing about something interesting or bizarre that's on my mind, but mostly I'll keep it focused on writing-related topics.

That's it for now. If there's anything YOU want to see on this blog, please leave a comment or tell me about it in person or in e-mail.

Happy Snow Day, everyone!

I'll be grading papers for most of day, but I'll definitely be putting my feet up for a couple of hours and watching the all-star game later. Not many Bruins in the game this year unless Chara counts as two, and at his height (6'8" I think) I'd say he does.

Ciao for now.

GC