Big day today, as I submitted final grades for my courses. It’s always such a hectic time, these last few days of the semester. Whenever you think you’ve got it all done, there are always new details to be taken care.
Beyond all the work is the emotional aspect of this time of the semester. Inevitably, there will be those students who struggle and don’t do as well as I, or they, wanted them to. For some reason, they froze in the exam room or just couldn’t get it in gear. Then there are those that chose not to do their best, especially near the end of the semester, even though they were doing well in the course. I often wonder what happens—what goes so wrong in a person’s life that the thing they’ve invested so much money in, so much of themselves in, and so many hopes and dreams in—that it suddenly takes a back seat to everything. So they don’t bother showing up for class, thinking it won’t hurt their grades. But it does. Or they don’t pass in that last essay, or they just do a sloppy job on it, thinking that whatever they pass in will get the same grade. Not true. Rarely is. These are the kinds of people I feel slip through my fingers, making me wish I could have one last chance to help them, just to show them that there’s a better way to end the semester after having done so much work already. But there’s nothing I can do. Nothing they can do. Just let it go.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Then there are the students who sort of floated under the radar all semester, who didn’t raise their hands in class, never came to see me in my office, only hoped to get by day after day without being noticed. If that was the goal, then, to some extent, they succeeded. But I always notice when someone’s trying not to be noticed. They become like ghosts in my daily life, and, as a person who’s made a life out of studying and writing about ghostly figures, they would actually be the first ones I’d take note of and remember. I understand the need to be still, to be silent, to hope the danger passes. Maybe it’s out of self-preservation, a sense of fear, of not really wanting to participate except to observe. Maybe some of you are even reading this blog. Just want you to know: I get it. It’s okay by me. I’m not sure my approval would (or should) even matter. But just letting you know.
Not Waving, But Drowning
Of course, then there are the students who inspire—who somehow find a way to do better than they have all semester. Now, this rarely happens unless a student has been working hard and coming to see me in my office to talk things over once in a while, and genuinely striving to improve their thought process and their ability to express those thoughts both aloud and on paper. There are always a few students who surprise me on the final exam by suddenly showing that they “get” it—that they finally understand what it is I’ve been saying to them all semester long. Thankfully, there were some of those this time around, and I was only too happy to reward them for their enlightenment because it is an enlightenment that comes only from hard work and perseverance. Those qualities are not always rewarded in life, and it’s nice when they are.
I appreciated those of you have taken the time to stop by and say a few words, either in my office or at the end of the exam, to say you enjoyed the experience this past semester. It reminds me of why I teach—because I want to inspire, to make you want to learn, to be better able to express what you see in the world, to be able to see and understand more of what the world, and your own life, reveals to you. It is a sad person who is filled with experience and thought but is unable to share insight for lack of the right words. If I can somehow contribute to your own ability to communicate your thoughts and feelings, or to introduce you to an author or poet who inspires you, or simply to entertain you on your way for a few minutes every day, I am honored for the privilege.
There are many of you I will never forget, but, alas, many of you whom I will forget in time—I will always remember your faces, even when your name inevitably gets lost in the sea of names that whirls in my head like thousands of leaves in a hurricane. Right now, your faces and names are fresh in my mind and I am aware of so many hopes and triumphs, and so much heartache and sadness at the same time, that you have gone through in these past four months alone. When I look out across the exam room, or when I put in those final grades, I think of you, what I know about you, imagine how I think you will react to the number. And in the end, it is just a number, even if you are not. It doesn’t define you. I did my best, as I hope you did, to ensure that that number reflects the quality of your effort in the past few months. But that truly depends on a communication between you and me. In that regard, I’ve done everything I can. The rest, as I like to say, is between you and your God. Only you can say whether you showed up each day. And if you showed up, did you have something to say?
And the other voices—mine, fellow students, the authors we studied—did you allow them to speak to you? Or did you close your mind, along with your eyes? Sometimes, just showing up is not enough. Sure, it can be an act of bravery to show up (not just in class, literally, but in life, figuratively)—to make the moments count for something. You have to be present in order to truly live. If you managed to do that, then you’ve impressed me. More important, I hope you impressed yourself. Because sometimes it’s just not that easy.
I plan to keep writing in this blog over the holidays, to lighten things up or to put some things in perspective, mostly having to do with my own life experiences and observations. If you’re still reading this, I’m assuming you’re along for the ride, willing to see where this one goes.
Right now, it goes to stores around the St. John’s area, as starting tomorrow the Christmas shopping must begin in earnest. After that, a few days of well-earned rest, hopefully. It won’t be too long before the preparation for next semester must begin.
*Shudder.*
Best not to think about it.
Best to keep on moving. Except, occasionally, to stop by woods on a snowy evening. Or at least for an afternoon at the movies with my loving, patient wife.
See you around.
Thanks for being present.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Blog #3: Exam Talk
So it comes down to this.
This is my third blog entry for the day. Keep reading after the end of this post. Please cast a vote in my poll, on the right hand side of this blog entry. Also, I have office hours tomorrow (Thursday) afternoon from 2:30 to 3:30, possibly longer if numbers warrant.
The final exam for English 1080 is on Friday, December 12 @ 9 a.m. in the Phys. Ed. Gymnasium. My students go to the left just as you enter the gym. Look for me standing there in the back of the rows where you’re supposed to be sitting.
There’s not much left to say at this point that hasn’t been already said a half dozen times, but there is likely some full-blown, and half-blown, anxiety going on out there, I’m sure. So I’m hoping to calm some nerves by talking a little about what to expect.
First, I’ll be having office hours Thursday afternoon, the day before the exam, starting at 2:30 and ending (most likely) at 3:30, depending on how many people show up. I’ll certainly stay longer if there is anyone waiting to see me. In fact, I’ll stay until there’s no one left to see, just as I’ve done all semester long. Friday morning, I’ll try to be around before the exam, but I need to be in the gym well before exam time just to get things set up.
The exam has two parts, Part A being “Poetry” and Part B being “Short Stories”. Make sure you flip over the page because there are two sides to the exam just as there are at least two sides to everything. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to answer ONE question from each section, for a total of TWO essays.
Make sure you’re writing the correct exam: the one with MY name on the top right hand corner.
The questions are straightforward, but make sure you understand what you are being asked to write about, and focus on answering the question directly. The idea, of course, is to show me what you know about the two stories (or poems) as it pertains to the subject I’ve given you to write about. Remember: the questions are designed for you to show me what you know, not what you don’t know.
It’s a two and a half hour exam, so take time to get your thoughts together by making notes to yourself before you begin. You’ll need about an hour to write each essay, with a little time left over. If you’ve had certain problems all semester long (especially comma splice, sentence fragment, tense shift, and passive voice), make sure you take time to go back over the essay and make corrections.
VERY IMPORTANT: Make sure you write TWO strong essays. Don’t spend all your time on the first question and leave yourself less time for the second one. Your grade will probably suffer if you don’t manage your time well. I’ve seen far too many exams in which a student wrote only one good essay and ran out of time for the second one. So time management is crucial once you’re in the exam room. By 10:15 a.m. or so, you should be starting on the second question. I don’t care which order you do them in, just make sure you clearly mark which number you’re answering, as well as which section.
How to prepare? For the short story section, just know the tales really well. If there’s one that you don’t feel strongly about, you’re not likely to use it on the exam. But I would re-familiarize myself with four or five stories, paying attention to the details, maybe some images, symbols, quotations, entire scenes, and so on that stood out during the semester when we talked about these stories. When you’re writing the exam, you should be able to envision how the plot, or character journey, goes from beginning to end, focusing on the key moments (with some detail) along the way. This trick will be immensely helpful when you’re writing and trying to recall certain parts of the story, giving yourself more and more to talk about as you go. If you focus on the literal and/or figurative journey each character takes and how the character has changed by the end of the story, then you will be well-prepared. (Of course, remember that no character exists in isolation: feel free to discuss other characters as well, showing how they relate to what you’re proving about the protagonist, or even a minor character. It’s always your choice as to which characters you will discuss.)
The same is true for the poetry, of course. We talked about them quite a bit in class, so certain images, symbols, word choices, and other poetic techniques should stand out in your mind as you re-read. You should be familiar with the poems as much as possible, enough so that you can do a comparative analysis of two of them. Certain poems go really well together, while others are more of a stretch, but might prove to be an interesting contrast to one another on an exam—your choice. Don’t just try and memorize the poems. It will work better for you if you go through each poem, word by word, line by line, and figure out what it means for you that way. It will make more sense to you now than it did the first time you read it or we read it together in class.
Again: there’s no substitute for knowing the literature (both stories and poems) really well. Success is rarely dependent upon luck (like crossing your fingers and hoping for the right questions). Success is more likely if you have a game plan, just as in any sport or competition or test of one’s self.
In a way, that’s what this is all about—you’re being tested as much on how you react to adversity as you are on the stories themselves. The vast majority of you will probably do just fine in that regard. All of you, I hope, will at least be able to say, when this is over, that you can look at yourself in the mirror, knowing you at least showed up and tried your best. For any exam, 95% of the work is done before you even show up in the classroom.
I’ll be blogging at least once more before the end of term, likely after the final exams have been written, just to sign off for the semester. Meanwhile, if you have question, feel free to e-mail me at gnc@nf.sympatico.ca.
This is my third blog entry for the day. Keep reading after the end of this post. Please cast a vote in my poll, on the right hand side of this blog entry. Also, I have office hours tomorrow (Thursday) afternoon from 2:30 to 3:30, possibly longer if numbers warrant.
The final exam for English 1080 is on Friday, December 12 @ 9 a.m. in the Phys. Ed. Gymnasium. My students go to the left just as you enter the gym. Look for me standing there in the back of the rows where you’re supposed to be sitting.
There’s not much left to say at this point that hasn’t been already said a half dozen times, but there is likely some full-blown, and half-blown, anxiety going on out there, I’m sure. So I’m hoping to calm some nerves by talking a little about what to expect.
First, I’ll be having office hours Thursday afternoon, the day before the exam, starting at 2:30 and ending (most likely) at 3:30, depending on how many people show up. I’ll certainly stay longer if there is anyone waiting to see me. In fact, I’ll stay until there’s no one left to see, just as I’ve done all semester long. Friday morning, I’ll try to be around before the exam, but I need to be in the gym well before exam time just to get things set up.
The exam has two parts, Part A being “Poetry” and Part B being “Short Stories”. Make sure you flip over the page because there are two sides to the exam just as there are at least two sides to everything. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to answer ONE question from each section, for a total of TWO essays.
Make sure you’re writing the correct exam: the one with MY name on the top right hand corner.
The questions are straightforward, but make sure you understand what you are being asked to write about, and focus on answering the question directly. The idea, of course, is to show me what you know about the two stories (or poems) as it pertains to the subject I’ve given you to write about. Remember: the questions are designed for you to show me what you know, not what you don’t know.
It’s a two and a half hour exam, so take time to get your thoughts together by making notes to yourself before you begin. You’ll need about an hour to write each essay, with a little time left over. If you’ve had certain problems all semester long (especially comma splice, sentence fragment, tense shift, and passive voice), make sure you take time to go back over the essay and make corrections.
VERY IMPORTANT: Make sure you write TWO strong essays. Don’t spend all your time on the first question and leave yourself less time for the second one. Your grade will probably suffer if you don’t manage your time well. I’ve seen far too many exams in which a student wrote only one good essay and ran out of time for the second one. So time management is crucial once you’re in the exam room. By 10:15 a.m. or so, you should be starting on the second question. I don’t care which order you do them in, just make sure you clearly mark which number you’re answering, as well as which section.
How to prepare? For the short story section, just know the tales really well. If there’s one that you don’t feel strongly about, you’re not likely to use it on the exam. But I would re-familiarize myself with four or five stories, paying attention to the details, maybe some images, symbols, quotations, entire scenes, and so on that stood out during the semester when we talked about these stories. When you’re writing the exam, you should be able to envision how the plot, or character journey, goes from beginning to end, focusing on the key moments (with some detail) along the way. This trick will be immensely helpful when you’re writing and trying to recall certain parts of the story, giving yourself more and more to talk about as you go. If you focus on the literal and/or figurative journey each character takes and how the character has changed by the end of the story, then you will be well-prepared. (Of course, remember that no character exists in isolation: feel free to discuss other characters as well, showing how they relate to what you’re proving about the protagonist, or even a minor character. It’s always your choice as to which characters you will discuss.)
The same is true for the poetry, of course. We talked about them quite a bit in class, so certain images, symbols, word choices, and other poetic techniques should stand out in your mind as you re-read. You should be familiar with the poems as much as possible, enough so that you can do a comparative analysis of two of them. Certain poems go really well together, while others are more of a stretch, but might prove to be an interesting contrast to one another on an exam—your choice. Don’t just try and memorize the poems. It will work better for you if you go through each poem, word by word, line by line, and figure out what it means for you that way. It will make more sense to you now than it did the first time you read it or we read it together in class.
Again: there’s no substitute for knowing the literature (both stories and poems) really well. Success is rarely dependent upon luck (like crossing your fingers and hoping for the right questions). Success is more likely if you have a game plan, just as in any sport or competition or test of one’s self.
In a way, that’s what this is all about—you’re being tested as much on how you react to adversity as you are on the stories themselves. The vast majority of you will probably do just fine in that regard. All of you, I hope, will at least be able to say, when this is over, that you can look at yourself in the mirror, knowing you at least showed up and tried your best. For any exam, 95% of the work is done before you even show up in the classroom.
I’ll be blogging at least once more before the end of term, likely after the final exams have been written, just to sign off for the semester. Meanwhile, if you have question, feel free to e-mail me at gnc@nf.sympatico.ca.
Rock the Vote!
Yes, you too can make a difference. You can't actually vote for change in government (not today, at least), but you can let me know how you felt about parts of English 1080 this semester. I'm constantly changing and adjusting my courses, so I'd truly appreciate it if you'd take the time to go to the "vote caster" at the top right of this blog and let me know what's what. Just click on "Cast Your Vote" and you're there. It's completely anonymous and, best of all, it's free and for a somewhat worthwhile cause.
More blogging again later today.
Again: office hours tomorrow afternoon (see blog entry below).
More blogging again later today.
Again: office hours tomorrow afternoon (see blog entry below).
Extra Office Hour
I'll blog more about the final exam for English 1080 later today--got a few things to say.
For now, I just wanted say I'll be in my office tomorrow afternoon (Thursday), from 2:30 p.m. until 3:30 p.m. or so. If the numbers warrant, I'll certainly stay longer. So if you have a quick question or two, drop by. Because time is so short and it is last minute, I'll be asking you to keep it short, though, so I can manage to see everyone.
Hope to see you. More blogging later. Hope your studying is going well.
GC
For now, I just wanted say I'll be in my office tomorrow afternoon (Thursday), from 2:30 p.m. until 3:30 p.m. or so. If the numbers warrant, I'll certainly stay longer. So if you have a quick question or two, drop by. Because time is so short and it is last minute, I'll be asking you to keep it short, though, so I can manage to see everyone.
Hope to see you. More blogging later. Hope your studying is going well.
GC
Monday, December 1, 2008
Yesterday
Hey there. Haven't posted in a while so I thought I'd pop in and say some stuff.
I won't say too much because last classes are coming on Wednesday. I'll say it all then, most likely, and anything that's left to say I'll say it here when the time comes.
So many things I've been wanting to comment on, but because of the constraints on my time, I haven't been able to.
I recall a week or so ago there was big news out of the Vatican that they'd "forgiven" John Lennon for his remark forty years ago that "the Beatles are bigger than Jesus". They issued a statement that said, and I'm paraphrasing here, that the Beatles music was so much better and important than the music being made today. John was apparently speaking out of his misguided youth and sudden fame, too out of his mind with celebrity to understand the consequence and import of his words. But all is forgiven now. Horse, the barn door is now behind you.
Well, roll over Tchaikovsky and tell John Lennon the news! I'm sure John would be chuckling over that one if he were alive. Forgiveness? First of all, for what? Second of all, who died and made you God?
Also, and here's my real point: how the H-E-double-hockey-sticks would they know what good music was? Has the new pope (whoever he is; I can never remember his name, but for some reason, I can't get that face out of my mind) been listening to Beyonce and Nelly, or maybe R. Kelly or Kanye West? Is that where the comparison comes from? I wonder what the pope has on his iPod these days. Could it be...the Beatles? Maybe The White Album--the one with "Why Don't We Do It in the Road?" and "Happiness is a Warm Gun" and "Helter Skelter"--you know: the Charlie Manson serial killer theme song.
I love the Beatles' music, personally. I never thought they were so bad. I also happen to think that blasphemy is possible only in the face of extreme seriousness and, dare I say, arrogance. But yesterday's blasphemy seems so far away. And hindsight's got 20/20 vision. It's like looking through a glass onion, I guess. All is I know, I can hardly imagine (pardon the expression) that all those young Christians to whom the Vatican is suddenly trying to appeal running out and buying Rubber Soul and Revolver just because the new old pope thinks they're okay now. Of course, I don't image the young Christians were ever into Beyonce and Nelly to begin with. Or maybe I'm wrong.
Anyway, I think it's all just a big reminder to not take any of it so seriously, starting with ourselves and including music and religion.
As for John Lennon, well, maybe now his soul will be free to haunt some other institution. Or maybe he'll finally be able to go into the light, knowing that the pope forgives his sins.
Or maybe, just maybe, he's still befuddled about what the fuss is all about. Betcha.
I won't say too much because last classes are coming on Wednesday. I'll say it all then, most likely, and anything that's left to say I'll say it here when the time comes.
So many things I've been wanting to comment on, but because of the constraints on my time, I haven't been able to.
I recall a week or so ago there was big news out of the Vatican that they'd "forgiven" John Lennon for his remark forty years ago that "the Beatles are bigger than Jesus". They issued a statement that said, and I'm paraphrasing here, that the Beatles music was so much better and important than the music being made today. John was apparently speaking out of his misguided youth and sudden fame, too out of his mind with celebrity to understand the consequence and import of his words. But all is forgiven now. Horse, the barn door is now behind you.
Well, roll over Tchaikovsky and tell John Lennon the news! I'm sure John would be chuckling over that one if he were alive. Forgiveness? First of all, for what? Second of all, who died and made you God?
Also, and here's my real point: how the H-E-double-hockey-sticks would they know what good music was? Has the new pope (whoever he is; I can never remember his name, but for some reason, I can't get that face out of my mind) been listening to Beyonce and Nelly, or maybe R. Kelly or Kanye West? Is that where the comparison comes from? I wonder what the pope has on his iPod these days. Could it be...the Beatles? Maybe The White Album--the one with "Why Don't We Do It in the Road?" and "Happiness is a Warm Gun" and "Helter Skelter"--you know: the Charlie Manson serial killer theme song.
I love the Beatles' music, personally. I never thought they were so bad. I also happen to think that blasphemy is possible only in the face of extreme seriousness and, dare I say, arrogance. But yesterday's blasphemy seems so far away. And hindsight's got 20/20 vision. It's like looking through a glass onion, I guess. All is I know, I can hardly imagine (pardon the expression) that all those young Christians to whom the Vatican is suddenly trying to appeal running out and buying Rubber Soul and Revolver just because the new old pope thinks they're okay now. Of course, I don't image the young Christians were ever into Beyonce and Nelly to begin with. Or maybe I'm wrong.
Anyway, I think it's all just a big reminder to not take any of it so seriously, starting with ourselves and including music and religion.
As for John Lennon, well, maybe now his soul will be free to haunt some other institution. Or maybe he'll finally be able to go into the light, knowing that the pope forgives his sins.
Or maybe, just maybe, he's still befuddled about what the fuss is all about. Betcha.
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