Sunday, December 8, 2013

The Day After Today

Hi, everyone.

Just wanted to remind you of a few things about tomorrow's exam:

1. It takes place in the Phys. Ed. gymnasium at 9 a.m.

2. It's a two and a half hour exam. (Divide your time as evenly as possible. Writing a strong essay in Part A will not really compensate for writing only a couple of vague paragraphs in Part B.)

3. You're expected to write two essays in total, one on short stories and one on poetry.

4. You don't HAVE to double space your essays.

5. You can write in pen or pencil. Crayon usually doesn't work so well and Magic Markers are tough to make loops with.

6. It's okay to end a sentence with a preposition (see #5)--no matter what anyone tells you. It's like falling in love with Taylor Swift: you should try to avoid it, but it's okay if you do.

7. Don't bring coffee into the exam room. Spillage could occur and if it does, I will deny even knowing you.

8. Bathroom breaks: See the last sentence in #6.

9. Try to relax. Breathe deep. Go to your happy place (as long as your happy place is within a fifteen foot radius of the centre of the gymnaisum).

10. BE THERE ON TIME! (Again, a wizard arrives just when he means to, so if you see yourself as a bit of a wizard, I hope you mean to be there at a few minutes before 9 a.m.)

11. BRING YOUR STUDENT I.D. CARD! (Especially useful if you bring coffee and I deny knowing you.)

12. They won't let you leave the exam room between 11:15 a.m. and 11:30 a.m. Even if you're hungry, thirsty or need to pee. Resistance is futile. The only thing that might work is if you're part of a very stealthy flash mob that feigns bathroom break, but morphs instantly into a Jingle Bell Rock group dance. And, remember, if it isn't on YouTube within an hour, it didn't happen.

13. Don't write in sentence fragments. There is a sentence fragment in #12. See if you can find it. Maybe not. (There it is again.)

14. Don't write in comma splices, this is a comma splice.

15. Don't write plot summary. This isn't a "How I Met Your Mother" voice-over. Don't tell me what happens; tell me why I need to know what happens.

16. Have fun. Seriously. After tomorrow, you won't have to write any more English essays... until next semester.

Also, have a fantastic Christmas and/or break from studying. It has been an honour being your teacher.

All the best,
Gerard

Saturday, December 7, 2013

The Ghost of Exams Future

So, what about the exam? In total, you have to write two essays, answer only one question from each section. Here's the format for the final exam, one more time:

Section A (Short fiction): There are 3 questions. You need to answer only 1 of them. They are all comparative analysis.

Section B (poetry): There are 3 questions. You need to answer only 1 of them. Two are comparative analysis and one is a "sight poem"--one you've likely never seen before.

If I were you, I'd try to know 4-5 stories and 5-6 poems really well. Again, if you've been to class most of the semester, especially in the past week, you have a very good idea of what to expect. My course is designed so that those who come to classes get the most out of it, and, as a result, when it comes to writing the final exam, you are best prepared if I've seen you most of the semester, sitting in a desk in the classroom.

If you haven't been to class very much, well, good luck. Most of you know that if you come to see me, or just stay in touch with me during the semester, and/or show some sign that you care and are trying, I will do anything to help you at least raise your grade, or hopefully pass, or achieve the best mark possible. But if you've been absent a lot and I don't know why, or you've give me nothing but attitude, good luck once again.

The final exam is designed to find out what you know, not what you don't know. Now if you "know" absolutely nothing, then you're pretty sure of not doing well. The trick is to know your stories and poems well enough so that you can write about them. That doesn't necessarily mean memorizing the poems or stories. Memory will only get you so far. With the poems, I'd make sure I knew a few lines that I could throw in, but I'd also make sure I was pretty intimate with the whole thing.

Show me, for example, that you get the difference between "blackening" in one poem and "golden" in the other. Show me that you understand why wandering through pristine, lively nature will yield different results for a poet than wandering through a dirty street filled with the reminders of all that's wrong with a 19th century city. Better yet, show me how both poets are saying similar things and, in their own way, use rhyme and/or meter, and imagery, and symbolism to say it.

Be as specific as possible. Talk about daffodils as symbols and wandering as a symbolic act. Talk about how "Stopping" can be a signficant moment in understanding one's place in a big, dark world. Talk about what "True Love" really is, according to one poet and how it's so similar to the love expressed in "Sonnet 130". Be able to see, and express, how Simpson's poetry captures the strength or fear of a particular speaker and has a broader application as well--what might "Old Balloon Seller" or "Tamarack" have in common with "Sonnet 130" or "I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud," respectively? The answer is "lots," but I won't get into it again. I've been through all of this before. Keep in mind that the choice of poems about which to write will be mainly yours, the only limitations being imposed by the subject indicated in the question itself. But I won't be telling you specifically which poems, or stories, to write about.

The key to a good essay is to be specific about the details and to discuss what those details signify, symbolize, indicate, suggest or reflect about the character or object they're associated with, whether you're discussing poetry or short stories. There really is no mystery.

Oh, and be organized about it. Remember: 1-2-3. Make a statement. Give evidence. Discuss evidence. (And 4: see grades rise.)

The poetry section will be easy, by the way. As long as you've studied and compared some of the poems in a detailed way (as I've discussed at length in class recently), you should be well prepared to write that part of the exam. Plus, there's the sight poem (one of the options) where all you have to do is talk about the usual assortment of poetic techniques. Mostly, though, focus on individual words in the poem. That will make all the difference. But also make sure you form a clear statement of what the poem is about overall and set about proving your theory to be true.

The short story section has three questions and you get to choose one (lucky you). If you were in the last class of the semester, you have a good idea of what kind of question you'll get. If not, I can't really help you with that. Get someone's notes, if you can't.

Beyond that, though, it's still a matter of knowing some of those stories really well. Focus on knowing some of the symbols (a car, a gun, some clothing like a hat, a skirt, or a pink ribbon) for each story, images you can discuss (a girl in her house on the threshold while a stalker waits outside because he "promised" he would or a family whose car has turned upside down in a ditch while a man called the Misfit descends). You know what a Misfit is, right? If not, maybe you should. We talked about a lot of them in this course. But a misfit is more than just an outsider in society (and there are different kinds of societies--and while we're at it, what the heck is a society?); a misfit also has a place in society because he shows us something about ourselves: about the things we most fear, about what we most want, about what we are capable of in our darkest or most important hour. That sort of thing. I don't exactly ask you a question about misfits, but, if you think about it, every one of these stories features a misfit, or an isolated or alienated character, of some kind, whether it's Jason in "Serotonin," the young man in "Young Goodman Brown" or Elisa in "The Chrysanthemums". Again, it's not that I'll ask you to discuss misfits specifically (in fact, I really won't), but you should be able to see how certain characters are related to each other in a meaningful way--that's how comparative analysis is done.

All of these stories have characters who are looking to change their situation somehow. There will surely be an opportunity to discuss that. And with every story we talked extensively about how a character represents the times in which he or she lives/lived by being a part of the moral fabric, a generational attitude or stance towards society, a trend that is prevalent in a particular time. In short, the character symbolizes certain qualities and ideas. Brainstorm on these and see how they fit (or, equally important, don't fit) within the predominant values and prevailing ideas of the time. One need look no further than Elisa Allen in her man's clothes in a male-dominated world who winds up crying like a "weak, old woman". How is she representative of her time? Or how is she symbolic of a certain kind of person, struggling to be free of society's expectations? What role does the tinker play in that struggle? Does Arnold Friend play a similar role in Connie's striving for adulthood and independence amid the backdrop of the 1960s rock and roll era, which was rife with civil and social unrest, ideals about what mankind, especially the young people, could accomplish. Change is certainly at the heart of these stories (as it is for "Young Goodman Brown" in 1692 New England and for characters in a a bunch of other stories). It's always about change. Otherwise, there is no story. Then there's the Misfit who, somewhat like Arnold Friend, represents the lawless violence of America, the part of civilized society that nobody likes to talk about.

Each of these characters is on a journey, one that is sometimes a physical quest, but is most often a psychological, or symbolic, one--just one more way to consider these characters and stories. And, of course, there is no story without change, and a journey usually leads to some form of enlightenment about one's self and one's place in the world and/or newfound awareness about the nature of human existence. Just about every character we've studied has a physical journey that embodies a more psychological journey, and it's useful to look at the key moments in that journey, the significant people the protagonist encounters and what they represent for them, both literally and figuratively. Again, I'm not necessarily asking you a question on the journey motif (which we didn't directly study this semester - I'd suggest you pay attention to the subjects that kept coming up now and then), but all characters take journeys of various sorts, and it can be a useful way to discuss character development, or character evolution.

Again, I could keep going. But I won't. These ramblings, as with those in the last class of the semester, do not necessarily reflect any specific questions on the exam, but are but shadows of that which might be, directly or indirectly.

Just come Thursday morning and write your heart out. Be prepared. Be strong. Be brave. As Gandalf says, "This is no place for Hobbits." But if you must be a Hobbit, which you can hardly help, then be the best, bravest, and most prepared Hobbit you can be.

Better yet, be a wizard. Weave some magic. Of course, a wizard is never early or late; a wizard appears just when he means to - in which case, I hope you mean to appear at the exam room well before 9 a.m. I'd strongly suggest that you have a backup plan for getting you out of bed - in case you oversleep for whatever reason. "My alarm didn't go off" or "My roommate didn't wake me in time" isn't much of an excuse for missing something as important as a final exam at university.

When you write your two essays, show me that you get it. You just do. Make me proud. Better yet, make yourself proud. You only have to impress me. For that, all you have to do is write your best essays that you've written all semester.

Many of you wrote your best essay on the last one you did. So there is no reason to think you won't improve even more for the final exam. But that will happen only if I've done my job properly and, equally important, if you have done yours.

I'll see you in the exam room. Oh and, yeah: don't forget to breathe. My theory about these kinds of things is that you'll always do better if you can find a way to relax, whatever that means for you. You'll notice that in sports it's the player who is most relaxed who finds a way to succeed, to come through in the clutch situation. The relaxed batter will always be the one to get the game-winning hit because he relishes the opportunity, and he is able to find that state of mind because he is well prepared. You'll find the same is true for nearly any situation in life: whether you become a nurse, a doctor, a teacher or a financial planner, you will make fewer mistakes if you achieve a peaceful state of mind. Job interviews are the same. Driving through the streets of any city is like that. Making a souffle, walking a tightrope or milking a cow - all the same: if you're relaxed, it's easier to tame the beast.

And the surest way to achieve success is to be prepared. You've been doing that all semester long. This is merely the playoffs - no time to be scared, but a time to find some kind of innner peace. Breathing is essential. Meaningful, deep breaths that cleanse the soul and clear the mind are even more helpful. For me, personally, it always helps to listen to the right kind of music before facing the challenge. There have been many moments this semester - whether I'm teaching a class, getting ready to face a crowded room at a writers' conference or about to go live on the air for a radio interview - when a good night's sleep, a few sips of tea and a few songs from my favourite songs on the old iPad just prior to "show time" got me through by helping to clear my head and my soul. I've been here before, I always tell myself, and I've survived this far.

And you will too.

Good luck. See you Monday morning. I'll be blogging once more, tomorrow.

GC

The Ghost of Semesters Present

Okay, so here's my first blog post regarding the end of semester and the final exam.

The exam is being held on Monday, December 9 in the Physical Education Building gymnasium at 9 a.m., and it's a 2.5 hour exam.

VERY IMPORTANT: Please bring your student I.D. card to the exam room with you. Otherwise, they won't let you write the exam. (On a more humane note, if you happen to come to the gym next Thursday morning and realize, "Crap! I forgot my student I.D.!" do not panic. Come on in to the exam room. If you've been to class on a regular basis, I know who you are. (Only you can guess whether I'd be willing to admit it.)

You are not allowed to use cellphones or other electronic devices during the exam. No eating, and please don't bring coffee or tea in with you, and no smoking (anything) during the exam.

Also, no taxidermy. (I said this last year, too, and I'll be damned if Empire Theatres didn't start issuing the same warning before their movies. Just goes to show. Taxidermy is generally frowned upon.)

Also, if you must use the bathroom, you will be accompanied by a professor - me, if you're male and not me, if you're female.

I strongly recommend you study for the exam.

Okay, the other stuff. I really did enjoy teaching this semester. I mean, always do, but this semester was my favourite in a long time simply because I had two excellent 1080 classes who showed up regularly and took literature seriously enough to want to discuss it in an intelligent way. Most days, it was a lot of fun. Even those who didn't talk much but showed up almost all the time really impressed me. Believe me, I noticed who was there and who wasn't. It was one of those semesters when I couldn't wait to go to class, and when the semester was over, I was genuinely melancholy about it.

As I mentioned in class on Wednesday, I'm taking next semester and the summer (at least) to work on some writing projects, as well as an extensive book tour through the Maritimes this winter. It should be fun, cold and cozy, not to mention exciting. If you have any relatives up that way, tell them to keep a look out for an event near them. If you want to follow what I'm up to, you're welcome to sign on to my author page: http://www.facebook.com/leedeetee/posts/10152279143015577?comment_id=36687074&ref=notif&notif_t=feed_comment#!/pages/Gerard-Collins-Author/176696569065790

Or you can keep up with my literary and personal shenanigans on my author blog: http://gerardcollinsblog.blogspot.ca/

Those of you who have friend requested me on Facebook, or plan to, of course, I will accept but while I'm not responding to everyone personally just yet, you should know that I'll be waiting until after I've graded the final exams next weekend before accepting. It's not necessarily about being fair, but about the appearance of being fair. And justice for all.

It's another busy weekend, but I wanted to touch base. I'll be blogging again at least once and probably twice more before the exam.

Meanwhile, I'll see you in the exam room. Expect the next blog post before the bell tolls... two.

GC