My earlier blog post on quotation methods might have been a bit misleading. I didn't mean to suggest that all quotes have to be preceded by a colon. Another option is to lead in with a comma:
e.g. Elisa wants more out of life, but the Tinker tells her, "It's no life for a woman."
That's one way. Another one would be to simply put quotation marks around the exact words without any attribute phrases ("he said" and "She told him," for example). You could just make the quote a natural part of your sentence:
e.g. While Elisa wants more out of her life, the travelling supposedly offers "no life for a woman."
The one thing you shouldn't do is the hanging quote, as I've often talked about. Don't just throw the complete quote, wrapped in quotation marks in the middle of a paragraph, a sentence all by itself. You should always lead in to it.
Hope this clarifies things a bit. The example I gave previously was for a specific circumstance, but I didn't take the time (because I didn't have the time) to give other examples because, frankly, the option regarding the colon is often the easiest and, usually, ignored one.
Good luck on the essays this coming Friday. Before then I'll be posting at least twice more on how to write about poetry. Stay tuned.
GC
When you quote directly from a short story, please place quotation marks around the exact words of the author.
Don't use hanging quotes. What I mean is don't just throw your quote into the middle of a paragraph (or anywhere else) without leading into it. "Resist the Wicked One!" That's an example of a hanging quote. I should lead into the quote with a colon: “‘Resist the Wicked One,’” Goodman Brown begs her. His words are ironic considering that, ultimately, it is Brown himself who gives in to his own dark nature, and he himself might be considered “wicked.” After all, as Hawthorne writes, Brown is “the chief horror” within the woods. If Brown represents mankind, or is a kind of everyman, Hawthorne is clearly suggesting that, although a person may hide his true intentions and stand in judgment of others, man is the most horrible of creatures because of such harmful tendencies. (Notice that I follow the quote with an explanation of what his words imply and why they are significant.) Notice also that, because a character is speaking within the quote, I use single quotation marks to mark his words and then wrap the entire quote inside double quotation marks. I even exchange the exlamation point for a comma because it suits my purpose, allowing me to use a smaller portion of the quote and add an attributive phrase.
Speaking of which, note that, even though I introduce the quote with a colon, I also use an attributive phrase, "Goodman Brown begs her," to clarify who is speaking. Always guide your reader. Make sure it's clear who is speaking. You don't always need attribute phrases like this one, but sometimes they are needed.
You would do well to notice several points in that paragraph:
1. The comma goes inside the quotation marks.
2. The quotation is only four words long. In fact, I could choose to use only the words “resist” or “Wicked One” (for example, I just use the word “wicked” in my explanation). Technically, I could delete the entire quote that precedes it. How much of a quote I use depends on how much of it I need. Generally, I prefer to use my precious words for discussion rather than just quotation. This is the most important part of the quote, for my purposes here, so it's all I need to use.
3. Notice that I don't just satisfy myself with saying YGB’s words are ironic. I suggest what the words’ connotations might be in the context of the story and then, even better, I go on to say how they relate to some of the story’s bigger issues: mankind’s dark nature and how, according to Hawthorne’s allegory, we judge others while we, in fact, are the worst beings of all.
That's all for now: set your quotes up properly. Lead into them. Don't use hanging quotes, and make sure you ALWAYS explain the significance of key words in your quotes. Do as I have done.
GC
Here's a sample essay from English 1080, written for an in-class assignment. Keep in mind that this essay is a near-exact replica of the original and is intended to show you how such an essay might be done. It's not a perfect example of how to write an out-of-class essay, as you would have more time to organize, enrich, and perfect your work in a takeaway assignment.
Mostly, you should note the usual things:
1. How each paragraph, for the most part, exhibits an organized pattern of a statement (topic sentence), evidence, and discussion of evidence.
2. Notice how ideas are fully discussed and multiple connections are made to the original idea or example. This student's topic sentences are exemplary, and she follows through on her ideas, not just resting with the easy, simple statement. This essay discusses nearly every significant topic it's possible to mention in a short essay.
3. Of course, notice the near-perfect expression, devoid of most grammar and punctuation errors.
4. The method of quotation is exemplary as well. Many of you have problems with the "hanging quote," which means you aren't setting your quotes up properly. This essay will give you an idea of how to do that.
4. I've tweaked a few things so as not to deceive you, but this is pretty much the same essay that was composed in a 50-minute period by the student who so graciously allowed me to reproduce her work here for the benefit of you all.
These ideas are copyrighted by the original author. Do not replicate the word choice or original ideas in your own essay. The idea is for you to learn from how this student approaches an essay, not to steal from her. Please get ideas of your own.
Colour coding:
Thesis statement
Topic sentence
Sample essay for English 1080:
In John Steinbeck's "The Chrysanthemums," Elisa Allen signifies the idea that it is only through revealing ourselves to another person that we can truly feel, and subsequently, grow. Steinbeck explores this notion of human nature though the symbolism of Elisa's clothing, her garden, and ultimately her environment, portraying a young woman whose self-imposed walls present her from experiencing the true essence of what it means to be human. Through this symbolism, Steinbeck reveals that it is only when these walls come down that we can live and grow as humans, regardless of how painful that experience might be.
At the beginning of "The Chrysanthemums," Elisa is a prisoner of her own need for protection. She has shielded herself from her world so that she does not have to be vulnerable to its experiences. Elisa's walls are symbolized by her clothing. Steinbeck desribes her as being "blocked and heavy," wearing thick gloves to protect her hands and a man's hat that shields her "clear eyes". These articles prevent her from being present in her environment, even when she is doing what she loves best, working in her garden. Although Elisa loves her flowers, she does not allow herself to truly feel this joy, as symbolized by the thick gloves she wears so that her fingers will never truly touch that which she so adores. Elisa's flowers, and therefore happiness, are also kept behind walls. Her garden is enclosed by a wire fence behind which only Elisa enters. Even her husband, Henry, only "leans over the wire fence." Elisa does not let anyone into her life. She keeps people out with her high fences and keeps feeling out with her thick gloves. [Prof's note: some repetition here.] Like her environment, Elisa is guarded by a "thick flannel fog." But as Steinbeck suggests, what Elisa needs is growth, feeling, and change. This concept is symbolized by rain, a rain which would enable growth and, ultimately, life. But Steinbeck tells us that "fog and rain do not go together." While Elisa is still guarded by her heavy walls (her own "fog") she will never truly be able to experience life through feeling and growth, a "rain" which she so desperately needs.
When the tinker comes into Elisa's life, she begins to reveal herself to another person for the first time. As soon as she meets him, Elisa and the tinker immediately begin to laugh and joke a bit. As they continue to speak, Elisa "removes her gloves." This action is of great significance. It is Elisa's means of talking down one of the walls she has put up around herslf; she is allowing herself to be exposed, not only visually, but to the elements, to all the feelings, and sensations of life. As Elisa and the tinker talk further, he experiecnes interest in her life's work -- her chrysanthemums. Elisa has never let anyone into this world of hers before [Prof's note: we don't know for sure about the "never" part.]; before the joy she has found in her garden has usually been private. But Elisa is thrilled that someone should take interest in her joy like that, and she lets the tinker into her garden. This [trustful] act symbolizes Elisa letting someone into her life. Like the reomval of her gloves, by letting the tinker into her garden, Elisa is exposing herself. [Prof's note: some repetion here again.] She is revealing herself to the tinker in an intimate way, a way that she has never done before. Once she does this, Elisa throws herself into her garden with a new passion. As Steinbeck tells us, "The gloves were forgotten," meaning that Elisa no longer wants a protective "fog" to keep her from feeling her life. Instead, now she touches the earth, she feels the buds and the stems of her flowers. Elisa removes her hat, further revealing herself to the tinker and subsequently feeling her environment and, thus, her joy.
As Elisa and the tinker talk further, we see that Elisa wants to feel. She describes her pleasure in view the stars. They are "hot and sharp--and lovely," Elisa says. She wants so desperately to feel her life, she wants so desperately to be able to grow. But in the heaviness and monotony of her life, shielded by her clothing and her garden fence, she has been unable to do that. That is, at least until someone finally comes into Elisa's life and she is able to let that person into herself. One must note that it is not the tinker, per se, who allows Elisa to transition as she does, but rather Elisa herself. Elisa is the one who removes her own barriers, who lets someone else into her life. The tinker is merely a catalyst to allow Elisa to do so.
At the end of the story, although it may seems as if Elisa is broken, in reality she has actually truly grown. As Elisa and her husband leave for dinner, she sees that the tinker has thrown her chrysanthemums onto the side of the road. This is a painful experience for her--she realizes that she has been exploited, in a way. She has let someone into the most personal aspects of her life and soul, has given him a piece of herself (quite literally) and the tinker has merely discarded it. Up until this moment, allowing herself to feel has only been positive for Elisa. But now she realizes that to truly experience life, one must feel pain as well. This is difficult for Elisa. She wants to revert back to her "fog" of not feeling; she wants to take away the pain by putting up her barriers again. We see this when she asks Henry if they can have "wine with dinner." Elisa wants to dull her sense; she doesn't want to be subject to the pain and hurt. But Elisa cannot turn back now. At the end of the story, Elisa is "crying weakly, like an old woman." Her symbolic "rain" has come. No longer is she shielded by the "fog" of her walls; instead, she is open to feeling; she is open to the groth that the "rain" implies. Steinbeck is not saying that this feeling and growth is always pleasant, but he is making a comment that to feel life, even in all its pain, is far better than to not live at all, as Elisa has beforehand. Because Elisa now has the capacity to cry, we know that Elisa has grown. [Prof's note: What about the word "enough" that she uses? How does that fit in?]
Steinbeck's "The Chrysanthemums" makes a fascinating and beautiful comment on the meaning of life. Through one brief moment in the life of a protagonist, he argues that to feel is the essence of the human experience, even when feeling is painful. He argues that the only way we can truly live and grow as humans is to feel in this way, and the only way to feel is to let another into one's life. Although the tinker ultimately hurts Elisa, if she had not let him into her world and revealed herself to him, she would never have felt anything in the first place -- not the hurt of his betrayal or the joy of his interest in her. A positive growth does not always mean a happy ending, and in "The Chrysanthemums," Steinbeck shows us just that.
Prof's note: And that, dear students, is how you write an "A" paper.
I gave back the first 1080 essays for the semester this week and, overall, they were better than I expected. There were three A’s in total, with a larger than usual number in the 73-79 range, an excellent mark for a first paper. I also gave one student a 85, which is unusual for a first essay. It makes me hopeful that there will be a lot of A’s this semester. However, if you were in the 60s, don’t despair, as it’s very common for students who start out in that range to just make a few adjustments to their approach and still wind up with a very high mark in the course. That essay was just a diagnostic, to see where you are. At this point, I’m merely making note of what you’re doing right and where you need to improve. In fact, you’ll notice that I’ve made a lot of comments on your papers, but you should also be aware that I’m not deducting marks for every error you’ve made; I’m simply telling you that it needs to be done a different way.
Regardless of the high marks, there’s still a lot of work to do, especially with another assignment due on October 18 (giving out the question for that on Friday). So I figure a little advice for that, and future, essays wouldn’t hurt. That said, the next couple of bloggings from me will concern how to fix up some of the major problems nearly everyone had on the first essays.
First of all, I don't make these things up. Sentence fragment, tense shift, and comma splice are real words and have real consequences for your writing. You should have learned about them in high school English, but either no one showed you or the lesson just didn't take. Or maybe in the couple of times since you last wrote an essay, you forgot how to do it. That's all understandable, but what can we do about it? First, you might notice that I used some abbreviations on your essays:
1. "T.S." means "tense shift."
2. "C.S." means "comma splice."
3. "S.F." means "sentence fragment" (probably not what you were thinking SF could stand for).
4. “Sp.” means "spelling mistake."
1. Tense shift just means that you're switching from speaking in the present voice to speaking in the past voice. You're using "was" when you should be using "is". You're ending words in an "-ed" suffix instead of ending them in "-es" or just "s". Just be consistent. Somtimes, it's fine to use past tense, but most of the time you should consistently use the present tense when talking about fiction, as if the action were happening right now as you read it. So if you said something like "Elisa worked in her garden most of the time," it should read: "Elisa works in her garden most of the time."
2. Comma splice means that you're joining (i.e. "splicing") together two sentences using a humble comma. The comma wasn't intended for such heavy labor. It's like using a screwdriver as a chisel. You can do it, but eventually there will be breakage. Your sentences get too long and, usually, tough to follow.
Here's how to recognize a comma splice: read what you've written on both sides of the comma; if both sides read like a complete sentence, then you've used a comma splice, which is a major grammatical error, not to mention confusing. See, a comma tells you to pause. But periods at the ends of sentences, for the sake of clarity, require you to stop. (See what I mean there in that last sentence?)
So how do you fix a comma splice, supposing you should see one?
1. Use a period and make two separate sentences.
2. Or use a semi-colon, which is designed to join/separate two complete sentences that are related to each other in thought/theme.
3. Or use a conjunction (e.g. “but,” “however,” “and,” “because,” and so on) and use a comma with it. That's probably the easiest and most common fix. You'll have to get used to recognizing comma splices in your sentences. That's the only way to eradicate the problem from your writing: practice. After a while, it will become natural to you. I've seen it happen for thousands of students and it can happen for you. Depends on how bad you want it.
Here's an example of a comma splice:
Comma Splice: Henry leans over the fence, he startles his wife.
Fix: Henry leans over the fence. He startles his wife.
Fix: Henry leans over the fence; he startles his wife.
Fix: Henry leans over the fence, but he startles his wife.
Fix: Henry leans over the fence and startles his wife.
Fix: When Henry leans over the fence, he startles his wife.
3. Sentence Fragment just means that what you've said (and obviously think is a full sentence because it starts with a capital letter and ends in a period after a string of seemingly meaningful words) is not a complete sentence. It's a fragment of a sentence, a mere piece of one: a pretend sentence in disguise, and it's up to you to start recognizing its covert behaviour. It shouldn't be hanging out with the other sentences because, well, it just isn't one and it should just solve the problem by BECOMING one. Their main offense is that they just don't make sense on their own, sort of like Chris Brown. Or Snooki. (See? Sentence fragment: doesn't make sense by itself. However, be aware that you can get away with using them in creative writing, but it's inappropriate to use sentence fragments in formal writing, such as academic essays.)
That's how you fix a sentence fragment: either make it a full sentence by itself OR join it to the preceding clause. That's right: if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Here's an example of a sentence fragment.
Sentence fragment: Arnold Friend, standing outside her door, asking if he can come in, which Connie refuses.
Looks, smells, sounds, and feels like a sentence, doesn't it? And yet, on closer look, it isn't quite complete. It needs something else, doesn't it? The sentence lacks context.
So the fix is in:
Arnold Friend is standing outside her door, asking if he can come in, which Connie refuses.
Or:
Arnold Friend stands outside her door, asking if he can come in, but Connie refuses.
See the difference a simple verb can make? I just add the word "is" or change “standing” to “stands” and now it all makes sense because we can (sort of) see them doing what we've implied they are doing. Fixing sentence fragments is usually just a matter of revising your verb (the word that implies action).
The other way to fix this problem would be to simply connect the fragment to a preceding sentence. For example, let's say you (okay, somebody else. Denial has its uses.) wrote this:
Connie looks into mirrors a lot and looks at other people’s faces. Which tells her how she is doing.
You no doubt recognize that the second "sentence" is an imposter: a mere sentence fragment.
Here's a quick fix: Connie looks into mirrors a lot and looks at other people’s faces, which tells her how she is doing.
Notice that all it takes is a simple comma (also notice that what follows the comma is NOT a complete sentence, so we haven't created a dastardly comma splice, and so everyone sleeps well, except for maybe Chris Brown. And Snooki. Not sure what to do about either one. Oh, and pardon the sentence fragment there. It should read: I'm not sure what to do about either one. I'm really not).
Anyway, I hope this helps. If you're still confused, just come see me or get in touch, okay? There's no need to feel like you're out there on your own with nowhere to turn. Help is available. :-) And my e-mail address is toll free: gnc@nf.sympatico.ca. Act now and you'll get free advice about plot summary. Offer available for a limited time only (till December 15, 2013).
Thanksgiving weekend is almost here, just a little more than a week away, and I’m guessing most of us have a lot to be thankful for. I’ll be very grateful if I never have to talk about comma splice, sentence fragment, or tense shift again this semester. But that probably falls under the category of wishful thinking.
Next time: paragraphing and organizing your essay, perhaps a little on thesis statements and topic sentences too.
Till later,
GC
