Okay, I admit it. I haven't been blogging because I've essentially been out of commission for a while. About two weeks ago, I had to have minor surgery on my throat, which has kept me from eating very much--which means my energy level was pretty much zero for a while. I also couldn't talk for a spell, which I'm sure was pleasant enough for some people. It's the FIRST time I've ever had any kind of medical procedure done, and I have to admit I don't understand why people volunteer for cosmetic surgeries, given what you have to go through. For the first time ever, I got to see the medical system from the perspective of a patient, and while the system itself is a bit cumbersome, the people who took care of me there were the absolute best. No complaints from me. I was in and out in a few hours, and by noon that day, I was home again, sleeping it off. I never want to have to go through anything like it again, mind you, but it was yet another experience I can write about with some authority now. That's what I usually think when something horrible, but not necessarily life-threatening happens: "Something to write about."
It was tempting to write a "Bucket List" while I was there, just for kicks. But I decided that was too morbid, for now at least. I did have one whole night of lying awake afterwards and my mind got to wandering and started coming up with a list of my 100 best experiences ever. It's like an American Film Institute special, except there are no moments with either Harrison Ford, Steven Spielberg, or Citizen Kane. There were some moments, however, with Spinal Tap (I was their drummer in another life. Not kidding), Lee Aaron (met her once), and Barney Bentall (jammed with him at the Ship Inn one night; I'm sure he still brags about it too. He's a rock singer from the early Nineties...I think). There was a Michael Ondaatje moment, which actually didn't make the list, but I just remembered it now, and a bunch of famous and infamous people I met while either teaching or working as a teenage cub reporter at The Daily News. There were some favorite places like SpringGarden Road in Halifax and Cathedral Grove in Vancouver. There were some great moments, of which there were thousands--like standing in a chain lightning storm on a balcony in downtown Chilliwack, or watching a hurricane churn up the waters of Lake Ontario in early fall. But most of my moments involved people, including a few former students, and, to be honest, my top thirty or so (at least) all would involve my beautiful wife. I don't mean that to be romantic or anything; it's just true.
So, yeah, my mind's been occupied, just not with the usual stuff. I'm slowly getting back to writing, but it hasn't been easy just waiting for the energy to come back and for the creative juices to return to their pre-surgery days. And even though it wasn't a serious operation, it does make you appreciate the little things in life--like talking to people, eating your favorite foods, and (believe it or not) being able to work. I even missed exercise. Pretty pathetic, I know. I often play my guitar and sing a bit when I need my mind to stop over-thinking, but I wasn't able to do much of that lately. I'm not much of a guitar player (though I did somehow earn a living with it for nearly four years); I'm really more of a strummer and a singer/songwriter in that regard. Not being able to express myself in that way was almost as hard as not writing for a while. You just don't feel whole, somehow.
I don't mean this as compaining. In fact, I mean it as a contemplation on how much I love this life, how much I love doing the things I do every day. I've come out of the whole thing with a new appreciation for my life, a new zest for writing and an enthusiasm for teaching, walking in the snow, standing in the rain, or lying in the sun. I haven't done nearly enough of that last one, by the way. 'Cause life still isn't just about work. Work is good. It can make you feel connected to yourself and give you as sense of purpose in the world. But it's what you do with the times in between work that count the most.
There's a raging snowstorm today. Campus is closed. And, ironically, my follow-up doctor appointment has been cancelled. I'm going to work this morning--got a novel to finish soon (and yes, I'm still waiting to hear back on a manuscript I sent out in November), some stories to write and a play to work on. But this afternoon, I'll be curled up either reading The Sound and The Fury (again) or watching a movie. Although a nap sounds good too. Or maybe a walk in a snowstorm.
So many options.
