Full of Gravy

Is it just me, or have we all gone insane?

The latest piece of chickenpoop we've put up with (and there's so much of it) has to do with Mary Brown's fried chicken. They were going to start advertising their product with the slogan "Hail Mary!"

You KNOW what comes next.

A clergyman in St. John's caught a whiff of what was cookin' and lodged a complaint that maybe the the company had gone too far, suggesting that there was something sacreligious about using those words to sell poultry. After all, Mary the virgin mother-to-be of Jesus, saviour of all mankind (including women, I'd presume, or hope) was greeted with the very same phrase "Hail Mary!" (you know the rest) when the archangel informed her she was with child.

It's not right, the church thinks, to be comparing chicken to the mother of Jesus. And perhaps that priest was right. I dunno. But the whole "Hail Mary!" thing was meant as a bit of a joke (by Mary Brown's, I mean, not by the archangel, who I presume had no sense of humour; otherwise, the church might have one as well). Meant to make people smile in an otherwise dreary world, or a run past the chicken store. Otherwise known as the chicken run.

We live in a time when every time somebody gets upset with something, they yell at somebody or complain really loud until somebody changes it. I don't mind that they complain. But I DO definitely mind that the company always says, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend anyone." Maybe they did intend offense, but I doubt it. Maybe they're just thoughtless. Or maybe (and this is my personal favorite) they're just irreverent. 'Cause nobody's allowed to be irreverent anymore, or else you'll have the Thought Police or the Politically Correct Party (who really does know what's best for everyone) telling on you and you're really gonna get it if you don't change what you said. You don't have to change what you think, I suppose, as long as you don't say what you mean. We got rules against that. We can't handle the truth, and we know it, so don't you dare say it unless you don't mean it.

I first saw this item on the news yesterday evening, and just as they were finished reporting it on CBC, I thought the journalist should have finished by saying, "Mary Brown's unveiled their new slogan today: 'Jesus, this chicken is good!'"

I guess that would be offensive too, though I doubt Jesus would care too much, what with world hunger, war, and pestilence to worry about. The thing is, what that pastor was saying was that he personally was offended by the message from Mary Brown's. Problem is, that pastor has a flock. And that flock listens to that pastor and supposedly believes whatever that pastor tells him is right or wrong, left or right, up or down. He's a man of God, unlike a mere chicken friar, who supposedly isn't a man of God, but is perhaps a man of poultry instead. I don't for a second believe Mary Brown's is the new evil empire. We have enough of those (Starbucks, Wal-mart, the New York Yankees, and the Montreal Canadiens).

Sometimes I just wish that those who have nothing to say wouldn't go around saying it. Live and let live. Let sleeping chickens lie. And don't watch football for fear of catching sight of a "Hail Mary" pass. God doesn't like the hail mary pass or people who use them. Maybe that's why they never work.

Amen.