The End of Summer

Okay, so here it is: the last day of August, and what have you done? Another summer's over, and autumn's just begun. (Apologies to John Lennon.)

And that's just it for me--it's not just the end of summer; it's also the beginning of fall. How do I even begin to separate the two? The betwixt and between quality of it all has me not even knowing if I'm coming, going, want to go, or whether I've been there already? Know what I mean? No, of course not. As I write this, there's nobody listening. It's like throwing my voice into an empty cave. But if you're reading this now (whenever that might be), maybe you can empathize a little with my melancholy.

That's what I believe it is: melancholy. I am a huge fan of summer. Most people are. I do know some people who don't love it, including one poor soul whose skin turns to a bright red rash when she's exposed to a few rays of sunshine.

But I still love it. Residing in a city where summer lasts only four or five weeks, one could easily get into the habit of living for these days. But, for me, the truth is that I live for fall. That's when things really come alive--or when I come alive--when life is even more exciting. Everyone brings their "A" game to autumn whereas in summer, it's like, "Man, I'm too hot and tired from the sun and from partying to go chasing that frisbee, or writing that letter, or doing anything that takes effort." And we all understand: "No wonders there's no one in the office. Dude, relax, it's summer." There's something about that attitude that makes me feel good inside.

I would give nearly anything for a few more weeks of summer right now. I don't want to have to return to full time teaching, don't want to lay my writing aside, and I certainly don't want to have to start setting the alarm clock for 6:04 a.m.. I do that most of the year, but it's particularly startling to wake up on the day after Labour Day with that guy on the radio pretending like, "Summer, eh? Thank GOD that's over, eh? What a nightmare." No, no, no. Nobody feels that way. Summer is good. Summer is necessary. I wish it were summer all year round...almost.

You see, I love autumn. Now do you understand why I'm so conflicted?

Just yesterday, my wife and I bought tickets for some shows at the Arts and Culture centre, which we do every year, as part of our autumnal living series. On my way home, I noticed the first leaves turning from green to brown. I was sad but also secretely exhilarated. The birds are beginning to fly strange patterns over my home, which is a sign that either they're circling the troops for that long flight South, or they're getting read to take a gigantic, mass dump on my rooftop. I'm hoping it's just a sign of autumn--they're checking their bags, making sure there's no one on the "No Fly" list," that sort of thing.

The weather turns cooler, but not too cold. Hockey season starts. There are more holidays in fall than any other time of year. Oh, and as a teacher, there's no better feeling than those first couple of weeks of getting to know your students, of making new acquaintances, of seeing what budding geniuses and simply good people whom you might still be talking with years from now, might be sitting in those desks this semester. How many of you don't know the joys of Hawthorne, O'Connor, or Thomas? How many of you are good writers who will one day be great...if you just learn how to do one or two things differently? How many of you will need to come to my office for reassurance after bombing the first assignment, but then go on to get a mark that makes us both proud?

Next thing you know, we're into Thanksgiving, and Halloween, and Remembrance Day, and Christmas (or whatever you celebrate...or don't)--this is my blog; these are a few of my favorite things.

And in the fall, everyone seems more with it, ya know? They act like stuff matters. Life is more serious in fall. Even the movies in the theatres are a bit smarter and sharper, with better storytelling and better acting. DO NOT GO TO SEE "JONAH HEX," OKAY? Your eyes will fall out. I like Megan Fox (sometimes) and Josh Brolin (always), and I adored the Jonah Hex comics when I was a kid. But I will forever feel as if those lousy bastards stole my ten dollars, as well as nearly two hours of my life that I can never have back. This fall, I want to see some good dramas, a few intelligent comedies (please nothing else about babies), and mabye some Potter and Narnia, for that fantastical touch.

And all the fall TV shows are back: NCIS, Big Bang Theory, and, oh, wait a minute--all my favorite shows have been cancelled. Wherefore art thou, "Lost"? But I'm sure it will still be good, like seeing old friends after a long, hot summer. Sort of like "Grease," except everyone's wearing clothes from the Gap and American Eagle.

Speaking of old friends, that's what I truly love about autumn--making new acquaintances, catching up with the old ones that you've known (in my case) since grad school. There's a rush of excitement in those early September days that never really lets up until Christmas.

So this blog has been therapy for me. I still hate to see the end of summer. I want to go off on One Last Big Adventure, like when I was a kid. Do something bright and grand that I'll remember forever.

But I do like fall. Really. Just don't set the alarm clock too early.

And if I seem a little sleepy-headed for those first couple of weeks, that's pretty normal.

Welcome, autumn, come this way.

GC